Florida

It probably serves me right that I had to struggle to find a space in my schedule to spend a whole week in Florida picking off three more parks. My parents lived there for 15 years. I made numerous trips over the years to see them.  I love my parents but always dreaded Florida.  It was always just so…damp.  In spite of my reoccurring trips to Florida, I will admit that I never actually saw Florida beyond I-10 headed to and from Jacksonville.  Outside of one trip to Clearwater to swim with manatees (something that even in my resentful-of-having-to-be-in-Florida attitude was super cool), I basically saw nothing but Florida suburbia.  Now at least I can tell you why.  To see Florida requires a boat and my father remained firmly land locked inside his gated country club hitting little white balls.

As luck would have it, the Olympic Trials were held in Atlanta.  It made for a very short direct flight to Key West where pina coladas and bakeries were on every corner and I was ready to indulge.  Let’s just say that I can see why Key West is very, very popular.  I think I have made it clear that I am not a beach bum but I do appreciate the great outdoors and a nice view.  Key West has this figured out where basically everything is alfresco.  I am sure it makes living alfresco after a hurricane has swept away your home feel less like a disruption.

Between drinks I had business to attend to. The first stop was Dry Tortuga.   Dry Tortuga requires a 2.5 hour boat ride to a sand bar in the middle of the Caribbean. Almost 200 years ago, someone thought it would be a good idea to put a large military fort on it.  This is no backyard tree fort.  This is just shy of a castle and even has a moat to prove it.  The fact it still stands after 150 years of hurricanes makes me wish the contractor who built it was still alive.  Even I would consider moving back to the coast with brick walls three feet thick.  Given its location it was also used as a prison.  Think of the savings on security personnel. The water is warmer but beats Alcatraz hands down with a full 70 mile swim to shore through shark and jelly fish infested waters.  Even Diana Dyad took four tries to finally get across.

Overall it seems like a testament to our willingness to invest in war, much like the cold war missile silo south of Tucson.  The technology that goes into protecting ourselves is the most advanced and expensive of the time.  It makes me wonder what were could do if we put all that thought into healthier, peaceful practices.  

Unfortunately time passes very quickly in Key West and it was on to see Key Biscayne. Biscayne is underwater, quite literally.  A boat ride out to a lovely little island is about the extent of it for those of us without fins.  The national park is the tropical version of Voyageurs, mostly a lot of people boating and fishing and I suspect very few have any idea that they are in a national park. My memory of the park will always be to the sound track of loud Latin pop beating in the background.  It is fitting that it is a place to party.  The island we went to was once owned by a rich man who used it as a party destination, complete with full orchestras and trained elephants.  He even built himself a lighthouse, except that it isn’t and never was intended to be a lighthouse.  It is more of an observation platform designed to taunt his friends and enemies back on the Miami shore.  The greatest disappointment is that the national park service has not embraced the party culture.  The visitor center has wrap around porches that overlook the marina and water, truly the best views around.  Yet, they refuse to serve complex beverages to enjoy while sitting in their rocking chairs and enjoying the breeze. I do believe that Biscanye could put itself into the top 10 visited parks and bump their revenue with the small but key addition of a bartender.

Everglades did not disappoint. On yet another boat trip, crocodiles, birds and manatees all appeared on cue.  The alligators were artfully arranged along the walking paths.  I am still not convinced that they were real because I swear not a single one of them moved.  For once I was hoping to witness stupid tourist tricks where they dare each other to touch the wildlife.  Unfortunately, the alligators appeared to be well fed and remained unprovoked by the fleshy meal options taking selfies with the reptiles.  Looking over the park brochure after visiting, I felt good that the only flora and fauna I missed on their list of famous residents was the panther. Obviously, I will be downgrading them on TripAdvisor for missing wildlife.

Only 7 more to go but so much left to do!